I think I really make an awesome boyfriend. I'm a natural flirt with girls. LOL.
Ok, and my dear wife will add a Violent in between. I cant help it but abuse you. HAHAHA. XD
Please let me do so now, I'll miss all these soo soo much you have no idea.
sigh, lets leave these emo talk till the time comes shall we?
For now lets just treasure every moment we have. (I'm getting mushy again.)
And i command whatever tears that are gathering to flow backwards!
Its really so amazing..
how close we are despite everything.
I thank God for that. Friends are gifts that heaven sends. This line is cross stitched and framed on my bedroom wall. I really value each and everyone of you. Which is why I rarely get upset with you guys, because I think we shouldn't let trivial matters affect our friendship. But nonetheless, little little things allow our friendships to emerge stronger.
A few of you here, hears me well, and know me inside out (?)
[ The question mark here involves things like, Eileen is a weirdo and is unclear about her sexuality preference etc etc.]
Truthfully speaking, I don't really know myself well. I'm a complicated mess in my head. I live in my own world, and my friends are here to pull me out while i stone and go into my zen mode.
Sorry if i stone off halfway, I'm just lost in some random thought sometimes. hahah. I think you girls are too used to it. I'm actually listening.
Talking about stoning reminds me of Joyce. How his stream of conciousness shows in his writing, it is all over. I could relate to Stephen alot, which was why I really enjoyed doing assignments regarding Protrait of the Artist as a Young Man (POTAYM). It felt as though, what went on in my head, was normal. I enjoyed writing this particular assignment. It wasn't from POTAYM, but it came from Mrs Teo. We had to write about three words. Death, Love and something else I cant remember. I loved the one i wrote about death, and it remains my favourite quote till date.
"Life is the process of Dying"
Death is our destination and as we breathe, we are all dying. Right now, in my chair, and same goes for a 85 year old somewhere out there. Its a beginning and the end, and no one knows for sure. Some travel a longer distance, some gets to see less, and for some, they don't see anything at all. I don't fear Death, I fear pain and regrets. We procrastinate our days away, like me here, moving my fingers doing my mundane. We have a million things on our list, and a million words we wish to say. We always think, ' I will do it someday.." or "I'm doing that next year, next week, or the next day." Sometimes we never get it done, and we leave it to the next day and the day after. We take waking up the next day for granted. We plan in advance, a whole list of things to be done on our schedules. Then how sure are you that you will wake up the next day and be able to do it? It may seem to most and even myself that I'm taking this to far out. But we never really do know. Why do we wait till Mother's Day or Father's Day to Thank them and give them a hug? Why do we wait till Valentines Day to say I love you to the ones we love?
Every Chinese New Year we visit the same places, doing the same thing. And in recent years, we visit less places. Simply because, they already cease to exist. It means one less place to go, and also, one less year of saying the same things. We can take these easily because these firstly we don't see them as often, and they are already moving on with age. But what if, it happens to someone close to us? What if, that one day you wake up wanting to say a Thank You, and he/she is not there.
Dying is not scary, leaving without having not done things that you want to is scary. Because before you know it, its too late. We take our days for granted. But we never really know what will happen the next minute even as i'm typing this.
I think its the medicine getting to my head. I should give you guys a break before i start blabbering nonsense over here. I feel drunk hahah.
好想知道，你的一百分会给怎样的人。我想我已经渐渐放弃。。但是始终没那么彻底。。。
