3:33...
Still wide awake..
Had a long conversation with mummy. A part of me was burning and dying to get her to go for a Chinese service. Not the pious, new church go-er mentality but one of a filial daughter. I told her alot of things. From the general outlook of life to the most private level of our emotions. The above post o mentioned about being old. And she asked me the exact same question. Why are you not speaking like your age should? She asked me after I shared my thoughts with her, how I could see through certain people. I told her what i said below. She didn't remember the past events and insisted I made them up. To a point I was actually almost convinced that maybe a part of me did conjure up hallucinations. But no, my brother remembered too. I was only p1 or even younger then, yet those images stayed vivid in my mind.


At this point, I just want to clarify a point, that is I'm not emphasizing that I'm mature or anything. In fact, I don't think I am. I just went through more than most people my age, forced to start maturing earlier than others. If anything, I will simply say the latter mentioned. Perhaps the same reason why I am unable to clique with people my age or younger unless they themselves have gone through quite a bit. Most of my close fiends had. You guys will know it if im talking about you. I had a greater affinity with seniors, incidentally or coincidentally. Incidentally but not purposefully. I can only say it happens naturally and subconsciously. I'm not one who bootlicks or anything just because you are of higher status or of older age. I agree with what I hear and disagrees accordingly. This as a result may seem condescending to those who don't know me well. I'm just into intellectual debate and sharing. If I disagree with you, don't be taken aback. And if I say I think so too, I really do! (:
I don't speak very well, and my thoughts aren't exactly organized. Which is why I find it so much easier to communicate through written and visual forms. I can insert ideas here and there or deleting certain words and organize them as and when. Stop and think carefully before continuing. This is how I am. I may not sound coherent because I'm like J. Joyce, going along with my stream of consciousness that jumps here and there. Switching and off from the real world and the labyrinth inside my warped mind. And I say my brain is warped , don't doubt it. It's twisted like I said down there. Which is why I really fancy those seagulls n seaweed kinda questions.

Aight, I should really try to sleep. It's 4:03. Exactly half an hour passed. Nights to myself and bye to whoever is reading this.:)
P.s. I really welcome comments and discussion so do talk to me if you have any comments or questions reading my stuff. I will be more than happy to talk. Let's not make talk cheap. We need to find greater value in talk.



From my fingertips