The One

They say we only meet one soulmate in our lifetime.

I used to believe in soulmates, until lately when i realise how hard it is to find someone who actually knows what I think/feel...

I have a complicated mind. a slightly warped and twisted one that thinks of the extraordinary. I see things that most people don't, and likewise, i don't see what others do. Or rather, i'm a little slow on that.

i'm a huge labyrinth , a hybrid of a million things... From my personality to my habits. A seemingly mild personality with an unimaginable violent streak that may act up when things go out of hand. The last time was in primary school. and the only violence are the ones i inflict on myself (ok, plus my brother and my bitch HAHAHA) So i suppose, i'm like a harmless rabbit on the surface. :D

My music genre speaks alot about me I suppose-- it ranges from classical to death metal. Thats how drastic it is. (still think i'm a tamed sheep? think twice :D )

I could be extremely cheena, gluing my eyes to a sappy chinese novel, or I could be intrigued by the grotesque imagery conjured by sylvia plath. Many a times I sing cheesy chinese songs, and at times, a different side of me misses the harmony and the resonance of choral voices. i'm a sucker for the artyfarty talk, and I could transform into ah lian mode liKe ThiS. ^_^ shooo CuTeX! (ok, this was the old me hurh hurh). That was just an exaggerated comparison, but you get my point. I am Singlish-Cheena piang, and a tragic poet at the same time.

My identity is a mystery.

Its a little of everything.

I mean EVERYTHING.

even things that i am not expected to be.

things that no one knew i'd be.

but thats just me.

unexpected and unique.

a mystery, even to me.

So then, where do i find that soulmate, whos like me?

ahh, another mystery.

holmes, you probably have to try harder on this one.

I have yet to seen one unique person like me. an assorted mix.

apart from my brother. HAHAH. ironically, since i said unique.

i'm probably one of a kind.

probably the piece of puzzle that went wrong.

the key that can't fit in any lock.

but then, I myself is special.

so i wouldn't mind being me, on my own.

I may never show my two sides freely to one single person.

but then i may show different sides to different people.

would that then be easier?

or i would it be better to hide just a few sides..?

that would be cheating aint it?

but its the same logic as, im not lying, i just didnt say it.

if you want me to show the hidden sides, I may, if you could appreciate.

If not, i'm just what a part of Eileen you know.

Therefore friends, don't be surprised.

I am more than what you see/think.

Soulmate, the One? tough job...

But if i do find you, I'd wanna say this--

"you're really special" :)