I need this composure. I wish I didn't let my guard down. I wish I hadn't been so soft. I wish I didn't wish for me to fall in love. I wish, I wish, I wish. No wonder they say, be careful what you wish for. For now, I just wish for composure and calmness, to do well for my assignments, and to do well for the exams. Thats all now, a safe wish isn't it? Then I'll bear the rest of the weight when the exams are done. Perhaps it would have been too late, but I wouldn't have done anything else. I know how it feels, so I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this. Especially a friend. It seems i'm always the one backing out, retreating and letting go. Just that this time, its hurting much more. I guess i've let my guard go down too low. It hits you most when you expect it the least. Well, theres nothing else to do now. Cry my heart out at my breaking points, wake up the next morning, and pretend to feel okay. God, is there anything else I can do? If this is your test for me, and you want me to learn to pursue, I'm sorry. No matter how much its gonna hurt, i'm letting go, so won't you ease the pain for me?
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